Your business partner is not your friend.
Or, how not to ruin your brainchild by getting too attached to people.
What inspired me to write this were memories of everything I’ve been through in my entrepreneurial career.
Especially the painful moments involving relationships with people.
Often, those closest to me.
I’ve had a couple of real (on paper) business partners.
And a few others I considered partners.
All of them, without exception, I thought of as friends.
Even some employees—I believed they were friends too.
I built relationships accordingly:
Openly, with no reservations, with a clean heart.
And in 99.99% of cases, I paid for it with pain.
I’m the first entrepreneur in my family, but I hope not the last.I think my experience will be useful not only to my kids.
My parents were always far from business and everything related to it.
Although they did hold management positions in their careers.
But two principles I was raised on stuck with me:
- Any job must be paid for.
- Treat people well... until they prove otherwise.
How does this connect to business?
Simple.
- Friendship is selfless and unconditional.
- Many people will eventually prove that your trust was misplaced.
People, myself included, are selfish.
It’s not always about money.
Sometimes, it’s for attention.
Recognition.
Gratitude.
But in friendship, as in true love, there’s no room for selfish gain.
Relationships where one side has a selfish agenda—whether for money or something else—aren’t friendships.
That’s why where there’s money, relationships must be strictly business.
Do the work—get paid.
No one’s upset.
Everyone’s happy.
You’ll say: what about friends starting a business together?
Parents and children?
Or spouses?
I don’t know of cases where these relationships lasted long and prospered.
Best friends are ready to kill each other and stop speaking forever.
Spouses divorce and fight over assets like there’s no tomorrow.
Kids tell their parents to shove their business.
Dependence on someone, differences in interests, expectations, goals, and ambitions.
None of this leads to long-lasting success.
You might start successfully together.
Build a great business.
But...
People change.
New interests appear.
Someone starts a family, gets excited about fatherhood.
Someone is eager to keep pushing forward.
Or different ideas arise about how to move forward.
You could chalk this up to my bad experience.
Maybe.
But far more famous people confirm it.
- Alex Hormozi shared his experience- nine failed partnerships before he met his wife.
- Chris Do talked about splitting a company with a friend—who gets the assets, who gets the community?
- I think everyone’s heard of Bezos.
- I’m not even mentioning celebrities.
I’ve been betrayed by partner-friends who took an entire team of developers.
Left speechless by friend-employees’ actions.
Divided a business in a divorce..
Can you blame people for pursuing their own goals?
Even if they’re your friends or spouses?
Of course not.
Because you’re not pursuing their goals.
You’re pursuing your own.
Think about it.
It doesn’t matter what situation you’re in.
What your relationship is with your partners.
Are you ready to put it all on the line?
Accept this: you’re alone.
It’s an uncomfortable truth, but sometimes you’ll have to make a tough choice:lose someone dear or give up on your dreams and goals.
There are no friends in business.
Everyone has their own agenda.
At some point, your goals may align.
You’ll strengthen each other and achieve more.
For a while...
That’s why I turned to solopreneurship.
At least to save myself from this pain.
There are enough challenges in business without it.
Does this mean you should avoid employees and partnerships?
Not for sure.
Just don’t create unnecessary problems for yourself.
Employees come to earn money and do their jobs.
Partners—you move together as long as your goals align.
Don’t forget:
If money is involved, keep people at a distance, guard your soul.
Friendship is when there’s no dependency.
No one else needs it but you.
Be ready to stand alone.
If you want to know more about other mess-ups and lessons on my entrepreneurial journey — subscribe to Eugene’s Stories.
See you soon!
- Eugene
Who is Eugene?
Here, in my sandbox, I share stories from my entrepreneurial life, along with thoughts and reflections on business, life, and philosophy.
I am obsessed with helping non-tech entrepreneurs demystify web design, development, automation, and new tech.